Friday, April 25, 2008

My Terror Filled Dream - Rejection By My Own People

I had a terrorizing dream last night where I actually feared for my life and felt every emotion related to it.

As a set up the dream took place in the environment where I grew up. On 61st and Jefferson in Philadelphia there are duplex row homes. In the back of these two story units are steel fire escapes that also have a deck which the back doors of the two level unites open up to.

I recall starting the dream with me running for my life. As I turned around there were a pack of Klansmen dressed in white riding horses chasing after me. In the lead of these pack of klansmen, however was one lone horsemen who was dressed in all Black. In fact his skin was literally Black as well. He was more of a spirit than a human. He was doing all of the talking, leading his men on as they chased after me.

As I got to the end of the alley I ran up the metal stairs of the first building to seek the safety in the "Black Man's prison" that was housed there. As I came up the stairs I saw a few Black men scrambling for safety inside of the building at the sight of the klan coming after us all.

Just as I got to the door - they slammed the iron gate right in my face. They shut me out telling me that they can't let me in and risk the lives of everyone else. The klan started coming up the fire escape. They had their sights set on me - the only one without protection from the enclosed building at this point. This is where my heart was pounding out of my chest - in real life as well as in my dream.

I decided to jump off of the side of the deck and grab onto the side of the roof. The klansmen below me started throwing rocks and lobbing lit torches at me, attempting to knock me down. I kept moving to the side of the building while still danging. I made it to the side alley and then pulled myself up onto the roof. Since the duplexes are all connected together I ran for my life west bound up the block, on the rooftops. I saw the band of Klans men slowly mounting the roof coming after me but I had about a half of a block distance on them.

I reached the end of the duplexes once I got to 62nd and Jefferson. Then I jumped off and ran up the alley where I used to play as a child. I kept running until I got to 63rd street. I then hid under some pine trees in front of a house that I used to walk by everyday after school. Minutes later I saw a few of the Klansmen passing by still looking for me. I stayed there until that evening.

When the coast was clear I decided to carefully make my way back to the "Black man's prison" to confront those who slammed the door in my face when I needed them the most - when my life was at risk.

When I got to the corner of 61st and Jefferson my eyes could not believe what I saw. The Klansmen had BURNED THE ENTIRE BUILDING TO THE GROUND. Everyone who was in this sanctuary of protection from outside threats were actually TRAPPED INSIDE by the iron bars that protected them and which kept me out during my time of need.

I came to the conclusion that I was thankful that they slammed the door upon me because I would have been incinerated along with them.

This was a powerful dream in that I could actually feel the intense emotions as I was fearing for my life.

It appears that the moral of this dream is - The very fortress that you build up for protection against outside threats might be the container that is used by your enemies to round you up and destroy you in one fell swoop.

As for me - I had to think on my feet - turning the deadly swipe and repudiation by my own people at the time when I needed them the most into a self-preservation exercise, using my knowledge of the terrain of my own community to my advantage to elude capture and certain death.

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