Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Male Bonding In A Grocery Store

That is exactly what I needed. In a late night run to the grocery store to restock the pantry I ran first into one neighbor - about the same age as me with a lot in common. We stood in the wine section and talked for about 35 minutes. We talked about marriage, about relationships, about children and even about other women and how bring married is always a struggle. That struggle is between staying faithful in your commitment to your wife and to your family versus the temptation to exercise your options.

This was a right on time discussion for me. I had exited the house following a little dust up with the wife after I corrected one of my children and, as with every teacher has found out - you can't say nothing about Ms. X's children without hearing from her. Clearly she it too over protective at times. In managing our children we need to be on one accord and work out our differences in styles behind the scenes, not in front of the children. At least that is how I was raised.

It was good to talk to a fellow brother who is also a "head of the household" and who has to negotiate things with his better half just the same. I needed our conversation just for some perspective in my own life and my own marriage.

I am happy that I now live in a community of young, similar minded, male head of households that have similar values that I have. Interestingly enough my friend told me about how he has a lot of respect for other males who seem to have good relationships with their own wives. The wife remains the center of his attention and they still are connected both physically and emotionally after several years of marriage. I told him that this also has a lot to do with the peering situation that they are part of. As an example if I was still up North and around all of my siblings, my own parents and the extended family this would have an effect on me and I would no doubt "slow my roll" with respect to hanging out with the boys at times and such. I told him also that many times the type of people who he is referring to have extended church relationships that help to set togetherness as the pattern by which everyone seeks to maintain their end of the bargain.

In the back of my mind, however, I realized that it was time to actively start the summer time cookouts once again. We had gotten away from doing this last year and the begging part of this year. I know that having 3rd parties in our midst spices up the conversation and the bonding within my own marriage and affords more lasting memories. This is what I committed to do as a result of this bonding moment in the neighborhood grocery store.

On the way out of the store I ran into yet another male neighbor that makes up the 3rd leg of our little backyard barbecue group. It is definitely time to link up once again.

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